


What if?

by thatkidryder



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, M/M, m/m - Freeform, mid war, unedited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-19
Updated: 2016-12-19
Packaged: 2018-09-09 18:10:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 691
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8906713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatkidryder/pseuds/thatkidryder
Summary: Ardant Lavellan and Dorian end a night with a bang, only for things to end, as usual, with tears.





	

His voice was staggered- following the rhythm of Dorian’s hips- he felt that with every jolt of pleasure the winter air was forced and returned to his lungs- cold and energizing, draining and frightened.

“Unh- unh-unh-unh-unh! Dorian!” Ardant trembled in the bed sheets that had been his for no more that 16 months.

“I- I want-OHHHH!”

A fine listener and better speaker was his partner. Ardant arched his lithe back up to press into Dorian’s middle. Even the corner of his lover’s mustache seemed warm as it happened against his blushing ears.

“What do you want?” Dorian said as though they were two schoolboys, flirting in the library with hushed voiced so that no one might hear, and yet, both of them were quite sure, everyone could hear: night after night for the past week the bedframe stamping the ground, the rug below unable to quiet its moans, the sounds cried out from the Inquisitor’s chest with the same panicked excitement he took on when he was forced to rely on the good instincts of others.

“I want to cum- I want you to make me cum.”

And then the Inquisitor closed his eyes and tried to exist as closely to Dorian in that moment as possible. And when Dorian’s arms slid behind Ardant’s shoulders to pull him closer, so Ardant could hear Dorian’s breathing as he grew more and more vigilant in his positioning, more rhythmic in the press, and release, press, and release. The fireworks in his body could not escape the flashes of doubt in Ardant’s mind.

What if this was only because of his rank? What if tomorrow Dorian died in battle and no one cared? Was he not good enough in bed- would Dorian leave him for a better man, a human man after the war? Would he ever be able to get by without the promise of Dorian waiting for him at the end of each day? Not even each day- each devastating moment this war waged on?What if he became upset with him tomorrow?What if he was already upset but silent for the Inquisition’s sake?What if this never ending dread pushed Dorian away?

Dorian kissed him, and knew, that it would be enough to silence the Inquisitor’s thunderstorm mind for a second, and that in that second he would push him over the edge so that this little sparkler of a man would become a loose silken ribbon in his arms, flooding everywhere but still so soft and beautiful. He pressed his forehead to Ardant’s and took the moment to shut his eyes and hope. He hoped for things yet to be, and for his stupid conscious that would make him be the better man. When Ardant opened his eyes again, Dorian was watching him with soft features.

“Good?” He posed.

“I love you.” Ardant replied and leaned up to embrace his man.

Sitting entwined and preserving the last bit of warmth before nestling together under the blankets, Dorian held tightly and waited to see if tonight, the demons would stay at bay. One moment passed and they breathed together. Another, and Ardant trembled as if chilled, and Dorian pressed a kiss to his ear. He breathed and Ardant began to sound congested.

“Well, I wouldn’t have hazarded a guess it was that bad.” He said pulling away to look at the dew eyed elf.

“I’m sorry,” Ardant said. He sniffed uselessly.

“I know there’s nothing for me to worry about I just… I wish I wasn’t like this.” Behind an arm, used as a barrier so Dorian wouldn’t have to see, tears descended Ardant’s cheeks.

“I wish I didn’t feel like this.” Dorian smiled through, though he was beginning to question if it was his heart or old habits that made him do so.

Until the war was over and Corypheus dead, his own problems would have to wait. Because even if he didn't want to play the comforting lover in that exact moment, or for the third time in the last 4 days, he was still thus far unchangeably in love with the most important man in the world.


End file.
